Valentine’s Day – I’m secretly male.

I’m the man in my relationship. My Boyfriend said, “we’re not getting eachother anything on valentine’s day because we’re broke”, so I didn’t get him anything. No chocolate, card – nothing. So on Valentine’s day, I open the door and he tells me to wait downstairs, which I am very confused about but I stay there anyway why he runs upstairs looking very excited like a young schoolboy who found out there’s a new toy waiting upstairs for him. Five minutes later he appears at the top of the stairs and says, “you can come upstairs now!” I walk up the stairs feeling scared like he’s set loose a wild tiger in our room and before I open the door he put his hands over my eyes. As soon as I step foot inside he takes his hands off and the whole room is covered in red and pink tea candles and about five presents on the bed. A dozen roses, a little stuffed toy monkey with “I love you lots” written on what looks like a collar, a photo frame with two pictures of us, a personalized chocolate bar and a very large red envelope. I look over to the side and notice he bought lots of food and a very nicely decorated cake. I’m pretty much gobsmacked and look straight at him which is when he grabs me in a massive hug. “This is nice”, is all I manage to say. “Where’s mine?” is his reply. I look at him like he just asked me to spell cat. “What you didn’t even get me a card?” I feel like the man in a typical Valentine’s Day story where the girl says they’re not going to do anything but  cry their eyes out when the boyfriend is empty-handed. I’m crying alright but only because now I feel horrible. The night ends with dinner cooked by me and my boyfriend playing on Battlefield 3 until midnight. The cake was lovely by the way.

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